Are you dragged or driven? How this one question can change your entire outlook.
Laura Holderness workshop session - 2025
I had just received a job offer - the most money I’d ever been offered. I was sitting in business class, sipping a glass of champagne, preparing for a European break between roles. Everything looked perfect on paper. Yet, as I listened to a podcast by Steven Bartlett , featuring Rebel Wilson talking about being dragged by your past versus driven into your future, it hit me like a wave.
I was exhausted. Disconnected. Following someone else’s dream, not my own.
There was a moment I’ll never forget: despite the perceived luxury around me - the champagne, the comfort, the big career step - I felt completely unmoored. Like I was living a life and a dream that wasn’t really mine.
That’s when I realised something important.
I wasn’t being driven by my personal vision - I was being dragged by one for someone else - trying to prove something, not meant for me. I’d begun my Career in Australia in the pursuit of freedom, yet felt stuck by my current reality.
It wasn’t anyone else’s fault. No one was forcing me. But somewhere along the way, I’d stopped choosing.
Perhaps it was the pressure of the VISA, the middle child syndrome, the strong legacy of my Northern roots.
All I knew was that somehow, I’d tied myself to someone else’s plan, someone else’s idea of success.
And in the process, slowly, I’d lost the sound of my own voice.
Finding My Way Back
I didn’t bounce back overnight. I didn’t quit everything and start fresh - I live in Sydney, who can afford to do that!
Instead, I started asking questions - to my business coach, my therapist, my good friends, and people who knew me well. And bit by bit, it became clear: I was way off course. I needed to get back to what really mattered to me.
Helping people feel less alone. Helping people feel more understood. More supported.
So I embarked on a journey - one that led me to create FemPowered Women and to embrace my role as a General Manager On Demand.
Slowly, I began reconnecting with people who saw me clearly - testing my ideas and voicing my potential. I took on work that made me feel useful and empowered.
I let go of the idea that I had to have it all figured out. And I stopped letting fear stop me from really boldly trying something new, no safety nets or other peoples dreams to guide me.
It wasn’t glamorous. I missed the fall from boozy business class, especially on those long, long trips back home to Europe - but it was real, and it was mine.
And, bit by bit, the path ahead got clearer.
Are You Being Driven?
Once I dared to recognise it in myself, I saw it clearly in every interaction.
As such I ask you to stop and consider as you're reading, are you being driven toward your future? Or are you being dragged by the past, - by someone else’s plan, someone else’s expectations, or a life that no longer fits?
The answer may cause you to pause and reflect. To listen to your own voice again.
Take a moment - and just ask yourself, “what makes me feel really alive” - and start right there.
Then, let your commercial experience guide you or enlist the help of others.
Sometimes, stopping and questioning is the bravest first step.
I’m here to help support that journey if you need me or FemPowered Women around you and your business - it's never too messy or too late to start to unravel.
L 💕